You are a flower to my hummingbird.
The mere passing thought of you
increases my heart rate.
Will you have sex with me?
Did you know that of
all the people in the world,
you are one of the few
who makes me feel this way,
right now, in my pants?
The warm radiant glow
of a starry winter’s night
makes me think of the time
I almost got with your sister
while you were away in Chicago.
If you are on top, is it love?
If I am on top, is it love?
If we do it from behind, is it love?
If the cat watches, is it love?
If your mom calls half-way through,
and you pick up the phone, is it love?
If I accidentally call out another girl’s name,
and you yank my choke collar, is it love?
If something happens, you kill me,
dump my body in the local
municipal landfill, but place a single
delicate rose on my naked corpse, is it love?
I think for that last point, no, it’s probably not.
But we’re young; who thinks that far ahead?
5. (Bonus poem)
If you were a piece of meat I would smoke you.
If you were a politician I would elect you.
If you were a cherry I would eat you.
If you were Cheryl I would eat you too.
Not literally though. No, that would be weird.
I also think that that would violate both
state and federal law. And make me a cannibal.
So just to clarify, I mean “eat you” as in the
“stimulate your clitoris with my mouth” kind of
eat you. You know, like romantically eat you;
until you orgasm. With your consent, of course!
And only if you are into that kind of thing!
I mean, you might be into that kind of thing, right?
Oh my, has this poem gotten off topic... I wonder
if I should just stop now. It’s not exactly a
romantic poem, is it? I mean, it isn’t romantic
in the sense that if I were to recite it to a girl
she would take her clothes off for me
kind of romantic, right? No, it’s definitely not that.
Still, if you were heroin I would inject you.
If you were a clock I would move your hands around.
If you were a mind I would blow you.
But if you were you—just you—I would love you
now and forever, for who you are,
unconditionally and without any regrets.