If only I could possess the woman Frida!
If only I could stand up and cross out my birth year,
If only I believed with my whole soul that my birth should coincide with the Mexican Revolution!
If only I could have been born into La Casa Azul in Coyoacán, Mexico City –
If only my tongue could feel those sabroso formations when I called that place home
If only I could feel the Aztecs in my blood naming Coyoacán the place of the coyotes.
If only I could widen myself into the role of blustering mujer!
If only I could grow a unibrow and see through Frida’s eyes,
If only I could stop the accident, remove the trolley car from the path of the bus
If only I could repair the broken spinal column, collarbone, ribs, pelvis, crushed and dislocated foot
If only I could grant fertility again, remove the handrail from her uterus
If only I could see her shudder from the plaster cast, and move again!
If only I could know her when she painted!
If only I could know myself,
If only I had thought to declare, “I paint myself,
          because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best.”
If only I could keep Frida’s voice inside my head,
If only I could keep it from fading, as I have fallen in love with many personajes
If only I could fight it out, like she would with Diego
If only I could see the very last tooth or nail staring me in the face after the struggle –
If only I could ingrain her two great accidents (yes Diego was the worst!)
If only I could still own the right to come back
If only I could carry her with me, alongside all of my own little disappointments
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Welcome to Problem Child

Problem Child offers an alternative medium for publication of poetry, prose, artwork, essays, and other creative media by semi-annually publishing the Problem Child Literary Magazine. Problem Child aims to publish and promote individual original thought by creating and hosting a creative community.